This question has been asked of me many times lately, and is usually followed by ‘Are you going to work?’ I want to reply that I am still a mum and just because all of my children are now in full time education that doesn’t stop, and hello… being a mum is work! But I don’t, I grit my teeth and mumble some sort of answer and go away boiling inside.I chose motherhood to be my full time ‘job’. We are blessed that James has been able to support our family without me needing to leave the home to work. He is the hardest working person I know, he leaves the house by 7.30am (sometimes earlier) and isn’t usually home until after 7pm and the younger children are in bed. He doesn’t stop all day and puts 100% into his work, six days a week. He also fulfills a demanding calling at church which involves him travelling to other wards on Sundays. Do we have every luxury in life and a big house? No, but we have what we need and have done some amazing things I never thought possible.
It almost makes me laugh (almost!) that some people would think I have nothing to do with my time now that Noah has started school. For me, part of being a mother is creating a home, a place where my family can be happy, safe, comfortable and clean!! Does my laundry pile suddenly disappear? Does my house tidy itself? Do meals not need to be cooked anymore? NO! I will do these jobs day after day, they will never be completed. I am thrilled that for a few hours a day I can tidy a room and someone doesn’t come behind me and untidy it. I am grateful I am able to do the boring things that detract my attention from the children while they are at school so I can give my time to them when they return.
I have also learned the value of taking time out for me. A mother is a 24 hour a day job that doesn’t end; there is no clocking off at 5.30pm and finishing for the day. There are times when it is hard to see the rewards or feel any accomplishment from doing this work, and times when I feel inadequate and unappreciated. But there are countless rewards if I look out for them and I know I am appreciated!
A few years ago I felt I had lost my spark, that thing that made me… me. I had devoted so much time to the care of my babies and husband; I didn’t do anything just for me. I don’t regret it; I wanted to do this… I had just put myself on the back-burner for too long. I rediscovered my love of music and filled my home with it. It made washing the dishes for the umpteenth time bearable; it made rainy Saturday mornings fun dancing with the children, it helped lift my spirits after a long hard day. As the children grew older, I started to go out and see live music. It invigorates me and tops up my soul! I now have a little time to do other things that I had given up, I can go on long walks with my friends a couple of times a week, I can get back into my art without resenting little hands ‘helping’ me, I am trying to achieve a childhood wish of being able to play the guitar.
I have to say that all my good intentions of redecorating, gardening, baking up a storm in the kitchen and having an immaculate home have not yet come to pass - you’d be surprised how quickly the hours between 9:00 and 3:15 fly by! I love being a mother, and am glad I still get to be one while my children are at school.
1 comment:
Hooray! That day -- the stage at which you've arrived -- is not far off for me, and I've often thought HOW MUCH there is to be done at home. Can't think about it too much, though, I'd feel guilty for not getting it done now, while they're still at home. Great post!
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